I wasn’t aware that there is a name to this kind of emotion! I think a lot of us are familiar with it — long-buried feelings of gut-wrenching pain can come back all of a sudden without warnings. When I experienced similar feelings in the healing process of a previous relationship, I was horrified that all the effort I spent trying to move on may have been somewhat ineffective given that the pain “looped back”, but then I realized it is not necessarily the case. Healing is not a linear process and sadness can and will come back at some point. The holidays are especially hard for those of use who are not surrounded by loved ones. I spent the day alone in my apartment catching up on personal projects and eating alone! I used to feel very sad about spending the holidays by myself but this year I have learned that holidays are just man-made occasions — I’m on my own schedule and don’t have to follow other people’s festivities. It’s just another day to relax and recharge.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store