Thank you for writing this. I struggled so much until recently seeing everybody but me getting married. It really is a blow to self-esteem because it makes you think you must be broken if you’re unable to do what everyone else does and fulfill the fantasy picture that everybody paints — “married to my best friend; have 2/3 adorable children; live in a big house in the suburbs”. Honestly that “married to my best friend” phrase is everywhere on Instagram it makes me want to throw up. Yes, there are plenty of people in very happy marriages, but it’s not all fairy tale like we were told to believe. I’ve experienced first hand with people who made it seem like they’re so happily married but in fact they are miserable. It’s the lifestyle that they do not want to leave — the love is long gone and the only thing keeping them in the marriage is the fear of losing their children in custody battles and also financial lost as divorce is incredibly expensive. It’s just been a tradition for centuries and most people never challenged the idea. Yes, for some people, they live happily ever after (mostly, not all the time of course); for others, there will be many encounters or love with different people, at different stages of their lives. It should never be the metrics of success. It’s a choice, a lifestyle and it can change at any point. Life goes on.

Award-winning designer, entrepreneur and educator. https://instagram.com/stella.guan https://www.pathunbound.com https://www.stellaguan.com/email-signup

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