Wow I thought it’s just me! I’m so glad you wrote about this because I’m the exact same way. I have an ex who watches every single one of my stories every day. When he first followed my public account post break up, I wanted to block him but decided not to because I thought why would I? I don’t hate him and we did share fond memories together. I try very hard to not scroll through the stats showing who watched my stories, but I suffered from the same “pleasure” that you had for knowing that he is peeking. I think this is more like a guilty pleasure than anything else. I don’t ever want to have direct communication with him again but somehow that “remote admiration” is reassuring. Nothing wrong with a little validation, however delusional that might be. Sometimes we just need to get that dose of self confidence boost to get through the day.