Stella Guan
1 min readMay 17, 2018

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You’re welcome, Bonnie! I love your writing. I do want to say that some women, including myself, have felt pressured to kiss the guy if the date didn’t go too badly, and the guy also leaned in. I have done so in a couple of first dates when I thought I liked them, but not feeling that much heat and they wanted a kiss — I just did it almost out of obligation even though I know I’m not obligated to. I only had a split of a second to decide before it becomes awkward. And in those situations, I definitely did not “perform” as well as I normally would lol. Since then, I’ve learned that if I don’t feel like kissing them, it’s better to just politely decline. I also feel that men should understand that not kissing on a first date is not necessarily an indicator of the woman’s lack of interests. Some of us just prefer to take it slow. I mean — literally we just met.

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